Smell the Roses

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Hey there interwebs.

It’s been a while since you last heard from me via blog. I figure it’s about time I pick up the proverbial pen again to say hello.

I could go into ridiculous detail about what has gone on in the last five months, but to be honest, I rarely have that kind of patience with my own writing. So I’ll catch you up with where I am now. 

First off, I’m happy. I feel like so many people in life spend the majority of their time working so they can be happy someday, but never actually take the time to BE happy when the opportunity presents itself. So I think it’s significant to say that right now, I’m happy. I’m fed, I’m clothed, I have a roof over my head and enough money to buy the things I really need, plus some. I have a job that challenges me in a good way on a daily basis, people I enjoy working with, and managers that are genuinely interested in how I can improve myself in my work environment. I’m currently working as a contracted employee, but that may be turning into a permanent position soon (second interview on the 5th, I’ll try to keep you updated!).

I’m in a relationship. Yes, like a going-on-three-months-and-still-doing-well relationship. We watch movies and eat out and go on walks by the water and feed ducks in the park and visit museums and act disgustingly adorable in public and we don’t care. Valentine’s Day should be decidedly more exciting than last year. 😉

God has been shaping me in new ways. I’m learning so much and it’s just…exciting! Earlier in the winter I had quite on ordeal learning to overcome fear, particularly when it came to my new job. I was so far outside of my comfort zone that all I wanted to do was run away and quit, and every day was a struggle to drag myself in the door at work and try to be better at what I was doing. But with patience and work and a lot of prayer, things got better, and I am a more well-balanced person because of it. The lesson learned was that no matter what the circumstances, God takes care of His children, and therefore we have nothing to fear. Things may not always happen the way you expect them too, but as long as it’s His plan, that’s all that matters.

 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jer. 29:11)

I’m developing a deeper desire to know God and know His Word, which of course has been an ongoing thing since the day He claimed me, but it’s made itself more apparent in recent weeks, and I’m very much encouraged by it.

Drama in my life is at an all-time low, which is always welcome. Some burdens I had been carrying for a while as a result of strained relationships have been lifted recently, for which I am very thankful. God is great as chasing away bitterness when you ask Him to.

And overall I’ve just been trying to live my life a little bit better. Get more sleep, drink more water, eat well, put a bit more effort into my appearance, manage my money, watch less TV, listen to more music, read more books, etc. If I only have one life to live, I may as well make it a good one, right?

Well, now I feel like I’ve been rambling and just wound up back where I started. I guess all I wanted to do was take a moment to step back and smell the roses, to comprehend the fact that right now, my life is a place full of possibility and opportunity, where nearly anything is possible and the future looks bright. I’m still young, but I know enough of life to realize that the way I feel now will not always be the norm, so I should appreciate it now for what it is. I am blessed.

That’s all really. But with any luck, you’ll be hearing from me again soon. 🙂

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Stray Cat Soul

Sometimes I treat my soul like a stray cat. You know, you pretend it’s not there and forget to feed it until it gets desperate and ends up ripping up your leg demanding you pay attention to it.

That’s not the way it’s supposed to be, is it?

Now, at the phrase “feeding your soul” I imagine a lot of you will come up with different ideas for what that actually means. Here’s what I mean when I say it: 1) actually communicating with the One who made your soul (what a concept!), 2) reading the stuff He gave you to read, aka your Bible (talk about the ultimate IT guide, right?), and 3) taking that information and doing something with it (don’t be a sponge that just soaks stuff up and doesn’t spread the love). Now, things doesn’t necessarily have to go in that particular order, and many times they don’t, but what I find myself doing many times is trying to complete the third thing on that list without consistently doing the other two. Which if you think about it, doesn’t make any sense at all.

Okay, I sense my snarky side trying to make an appearance, so let me calm down and say what I really wanted to say. It saddens me that so many of us forget to give ourselves the one thing we really need in order to survive and really live: a relationship with Jesus! So many of us who call ourselves Christians say that we have a relationship with God, but in the monotony of day-to-day life forget the big picture and just do our own thing. And when our lives start to sputter and spin out of control we wonder what on earth happened? I think a big part of why this is so common is that the physical world constantly demands our attention, and as physical beings we are overcome with our senses. We see it, hear it, taste it, smell it, feel it…but that’s not all there is. But we can’t forget that, in the words of C. S. Lewis,

“You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.”

So don’t deny yourself what you need in order to live your life to the fullest. Don’t ignore your relationship with Christ until all communication with Him has been severed and you need to start from the ground up…again. I find that when I take the time to sit down with God for a while, in spite of all the other things shouting at me for my attention, the rest of the day goes SO much better, even if the circumstances are truly suck-ish. I’m not saying that accomplishing this is easy, because it’s not. But it’s the only thing that’s really worth it.

“As a deer pants for flowing streams,
so pants my soul for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God,
for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God?”

Psalms 42:1-2